I know nothing (looking for labels on my birthday)

Tags

Artist, Ikigai, labels, lagom, nursing, TED talks, writer

Three days ago I reached my sixty second birthday.

I am over half a century old.

And what have I learnt?

Mostly that I know nothing and that the older I get, the less I know.

It isn’t that I am developing dementia. Just that I am throwing out all my old knowledge and notions and making room for new ones.

I came to TED talks  late in life. (https://www.ted.com/talks)

and am so excited by them.

You see I have discovered hundreds of talks on all aspects of things, which I can listen to and learn from (or disagree with) at the press of a button.

It was from one of these talks that I learnt about ‘Ikigai’. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ikigai

I became aware that I have being living my Ikigai all along.

I just never gave it a label.

In fact I had been living it for over for forty years.

But things are changing and small discontents are creeping in.

I love my job as a nurse. (A job I get paid to do) but I am also a writer and an artist, for which I don’t. (Any one want to buy a ‘hen’ painting?)

And these latter attributions are beginning to cause me anxiety when I’m at my paid job.

Let me explain.

Because of the above mentioned, I see, in each hospital bed, not just an ill person but a portrait, a story.

And so, although my manager thinks I am just uselessly chatting to my patient and in doing so am wasting valuable task time, I see it differently.

But recently times have changed, staff shortages have occurred due to cutbacks.

And now even if I seal my lips tightly I have hardly enough time to carry out those regular tasks, much less the ones I deem also important.

Luckily, so far I still don’t dread going into work.

And each time I go I do so with an optimistic anticipation of a good day ahead.

and I haven’t been fired for talking too much.

So my Ikigai is still at work.

But maybe as will I retire in three years I need to look for it elsewhere?

What could I do instead that I love?

that I am good at.

that the world needs.

that I can earn a living from.

It needn’t be something too immense.

I don’t need too much or two little to survive, but just the right amount.

and on that note I believe that in Sweden they have a special word for the above!

Now if you’ll excuse me I am just going to see if there is a TED talk on ‘Lagom’ https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Lagom

Anyone want to by a hen painting?

 

 

 

 

Vergings of a half hearted procrastinator.

Tags

appartment living, bicycle, labels, learning, philosophy, procrastination, words

THE PATH TO THE RIGHT WILL BRING ME TO THE SEA.

Procrastination; To postpone until tomorrow. To defer until a later date.

I should have paid more attention to english vocabulary when I was at school.

Since I started writing this blog I am coming across many interesting words that I am familiar with but not quite sure or can’t remember the meaning of.

Not a thing I am proud to admit to.

But It’s exciting! I see learning as a lifelong passion and am glad that I don’t know everything and still have lots to learn (the meaning of the word ‘Callipygian‘ for example or ‘doryphore’ or  ‘decubitus’ or ‘edacious’ or ‘ensorcell’ or even ‘absquatulate’)

I am proof of the idea that school at a young age is a bit of a waste, that we should be off adventuring and exploring when young and have the physical energy for it and do our learning later when our bodies have calmed down.

An Opsimath I suppose one could refer to me as (but that is subject matter for another essay).

One of the words I came across recently and had to look up to remind myself of its correct meaning was ‘procrastination’.

‘You don’t know the meaning of that!’ I hear you cry in disbelief.

Well I do have a vague idea, but maybe the fact that I am one is reason for my lack of interest in such a word.

Yes I am a procrastinator!

As I say these words out loud I feel a weight falling from my shoulders as when given a diagnosis.

A sort of So thats what I have/am feeling of resignation (and now that I have admitted to it, I can deal with it).

The problem of course is once you have a label you may find that even if you do manage to change, it can be hard to un-label yourself.

Or worse, you may be in danger of settling happily into your label.

Or that if you can’t teach an old dog new tricks (as the saying goes) How do you expect to teach a chronic procrastinator, who didn’t (until just recently) even realise she was one, new ways?

Am I being too hard on myself?

I thought I was just laid back/easygoing/verging on lazy.

Maybe I’m just a half hearted one

Is it possible to be a particular procrastinator, procrastinating only about certain things. Paying bills for example.

On a scale of one to ten which way do I lean?

I will go away now and ponder this and defer my judgement until later.

~~~

When I come back to my laptop I have decided not to procrastinate any longer but to settle down and get on with the writing of this piece.

But!

Its such a beautiful day and what I would really like to do is head off somewhere on my bicycle.

I debate about this for about ten minutes until the bicycle wins.

Now procrastinators should never live in apartments. It is much too difficult to get easily to the outside.

And mine being on the third floor is enough to turn a motivated person into a procrastinator.

But I make a start by taking my bike out through the living room door.

Having got that far I decide to keep going and go through my main door.

Then along a corridor and into a lift, where, lifting my bike up on its back wheel and letting its front wheel climb the lift wall, I can just about manage to fit us both in.

On arriving at the ground floor I untangle myself from where I have got my head caught between the handlebars and saddle and I wheel my bicycle down the reception area.

This is a very pleasant space with some large potted plants that have a notice stuck to each pot ‘Please do not water me‘!

As if!

Procrastinators rarely get around to watering their own plants let alone anyone else’s .

Though we do think about it.

No! the potted plants need not fear me drowning them!

Which brings to mind other people worse than us procrastors. People who are always on the ball, jumping at opportunities, whizzing round, motivated, interfering, controlling, not trusting others to take care of things. Over watering house plants!!

pfffft I am glad I am not like THAT.

I go through another door and one final one and at last I am outside.

By this time I am exhausted and I sit down on the bench outside the door.

Maybe I should call off my cycle and go back and have a cup of tea and finish writing my piece.

But the thought of the of getting back into my appartment with my bicycle is not really appealing either.

I sit and consider my options for five minutes.

The bicycle wins again.

But which way?

To the right the going is flat and will take me to the sea (should I go back and get my swimming suit).

To the left it is uphill and takes me to the mountains (should I go back and get some water in case I get thirsty).

Sitting on the warm bench I turn my face to the sun and mull it over.

I’ll go to the right I decide!

In a while………