By-the-wind-bathing (Things to do that you may not have already considered)

Tags

carnsore point, demonstations, Kilmore quay, lakes, Marran grass, Nuclear power plants, rivers, sea, theyellowbicycle, Wexford coastal path, wildflowers, wind turbines

Would you like to do something that doesn’t cost anything, will make you feel good, doesn’t need any specific equipment and can be practiced in most outdoor spaces?

You would?

Then come with me and lets go Wind Bathing.

The recent weather on the east coast of Ireland has been glorious, with little or no rain and absolutely no wind.

People are out walking, running, cycling.

Cars filled with children, dogs, picnics are heading to the beaches.

In the evening the smell of bar-b-ques fill the air.

We have exchanged our usual jumpers for shorts and t shirts.

I note that commuters heading for the train no longer carry that ‘just in case ‘ umbrella

There is not a waterproof jacket in sight.

Everyone seems to be flourishing in these sunny conditions.

Except a few.

Or maybe one….

Me.

You see, I thrive on windy conditions, the stormier the better.

And this summer I am grieving the lack of them.

At night I plug in my fan and, placing it by my bed, fill my sleep with dreams of wild Atlantic storms.

But its not enough and I am declining grubbily.

I desperately need a wind bath

(Before you label me as a nutcase may I remind you that Roosevelt Franklin was also a fan of this activity).

Its early morning.

I am sitting at my table writing when I first hear it.

Cocking my ear in the direction of the open patio door, I listen more intently.

There it is again.

A faint rustling sound

I try not to get my hopes up and put my head down concentrating on my story.

But…

rustle, rustle

It’s louder now.

Unable to resist, I lean sideways on my chair and take a peek outside.

My bamboo leaves are all aflutter, quivering the way bamboo leaves do when stirred by breezes.

And looking over the valley, I see the clouds skidding drunkenly across the face of Sugar loaf.

At last!

Without stopping to close my laptop and barely taking time to lock the door, I am gone.

But where?

To the place of WIND of course.

Carnsore point was a quiet coastal spot on the southeast tip of Ireland until 1978 when it came to the attention of the country.

Yes! The Irish Government of the time, (Fianna fáil) decided it would be a good idea to plonk a nuclear power plant there.

All hell broke loose.

Carnsore point was woken from its gentle sleepy backwater as the good people of Ireland descended upon it and colored its flowery meadows with tents and vans.

And as the stage was being set up and the guitars and drums and microphones produced, people opened their mouths and sang out together in fury against Nuclear war and nuclear power and nuclear energy along the marran grassed cliffs of windy Carnsore point.

And so many people arrived that it was felt that Ireland would begin to upend into the sea. But the people weren’t afraid of that. They knew the gods of wind and sea and land were on their side and eventually with the help of that wind, their voices reached Dublin and the government (who seemed a bit hard of hearing for it took three years) finally got the message.

The idea was dropped like a lead balloon.

As I cycle my new bicycle in search of my wind bathing spot I remind myself how this area with its tapestry of hedge-rowed boiríns could have told a different story.

Now sometimes what you are good at can be your demise.

And because Carnsore is a windy place, I am going to have to share its space.with….

Wind turbines.

You may love them or hate them or maybe have no thoughts about them but they are here in this place of wind.

Having been one of those who joined in the demonstrations and sang as loud as she could, I’m just grateful that it is one these I lean my bicycle against.

The alternative would be unthinkable (or even impossible)

But I have two tricky obstacles before I can get to my bathing place and just as the yellow bicycle never gave up so the blue bike must learn my ways and we manage by sheer determination and strength, sustaining an electric shock (me) and scratches to paintwork (my new bicycle).

But at last we plunge through the knee high flowers towards the spot where I camped all those years ago.

And at last I am standing on a ledge looking out to sea, feeling the wind fritter my hair.

A young couple appear around the headland and stand near me also looking out to sea.

I feel shy and decide to wait till they have gone before I start my ablutions.

In the water just off some rocks, a seal pops up its head and looks in our direction.

Seeing it, the couple turn to me smiling, their voices are pulled away by the wind but I know what they are saying.

‘Look! a seal’

I nod and smile and think how this is the basis of human nature.

To acknowledge a stranger and share an experience with her.

‘What a beautiful wild place, wasn’t it grand to see the seal’

They are passing me now but stop to make their remark.

I, in turn, ask them if they had heard of the planned power site and the rallies and demonstrations all those years ago.

They shake their heads in disbelief

‘Here? you are joking!’

‘forty one years ago. fair play’

The boy shakes his head in disbelief once more before they walk on, following the Wexford coastal path in the direction of Kilmore Quay, through the meadows of flowers on one side and the swaying Marran grass-growing-cliffs on the other.

when at last they are out of sight, I stand and, facing the wind coming in from the ocean, lift my arms in readiness.

How to wind bathe

• Find your spot.

(Beside the sea, by a lake, beside a river, on a hill top. It doesn’t matter as long as there is a breeze.)

• Stand with arms aloft.
• Face into the wind.
• Let it wash over you.

Simple.

 Next week I will be wind bathing here.

THE END

 

Its that time of year again (No not Christmas!)

Tags

biopsies, blue butterflies, cancer, dolphins, melanoma., radiologist, signs, theyellowbicycle

Once again it’s time for my scans, bloods and mole check.

And once again they are clear.

I go down to the sea and shout a thanks to the sea birds, seals, dolphins and whoever wishes to listen and rejoice with me.

You are probably wondering why I want to keep reminding myself of my illness, after all it is eight years ago since my diagnosis and probably high time to put it behind me.

But having to face these scans every year won’t allow me to forget and anyway sometimes it’s good to feel that panic and fear again followed by the relief.

It reminds me of those promises I made to myself if I survived……

To stay healthy,

To lose weight,

To not stress so much.

And to dare!

”Two pots of homemade jam,

a cup of tea and a hug”

Maybe he said a cup of tea in a mug

Yes! that must have been it.

She must have misheard.

******

”To dare is to lose your footing momentarily. Not to dare is to lose your whole life”

So said Soren Kirkegaard.

I have ‘dared’ many times but getting cancer wasn’t one of them.

And even though some people consider my journey with cancer as daring.

I don’t see it so at all.

Daring is when you open up to someone knowing you may be rejected.

Daring is to allow yourself be vulnerable.

Daring is when no matter how many times you have failed you are prepared to try again.

With cancer I dared to take on the journey only because I had no other option.

But maybe I was too daring with the other things that were going on in my life at the time.

Maybe I kept too much of the stress and pain of that time to myself.

Maybe it was my daring that gave me cancer in the first place.

The signs (a true story)

Preface

Mary and I are sitting on the grass under a large chestnut tree behind the hospital.

We are (two nurses) on our lunch break.

Mary is picking daisies and I start making a daisy chain from them, piercing each stem and threading a flower through.

As she hands one over she says

‘This is when you were born’

Handing  another one she continues,

‘and this is when you fell in love’.

and another..

‘This is when you got married and this is when your daughters were born’

I  correct her

‘I had my daughters first THEN I got married’

‘Whatever’ (she is not interested in the details of my personal life)

‘This is when you got divorced.

This is when you started working here!’

There is one daisy left….

‘And this is when I die’ I say taking it from her.

I am joking of course.

A week later I am diagnosed with a life threatening illness.

THE REST OF THE STORY;

Its early April 2009 and a beautiful sunny spring morning.

I am pushing my new yellow bicycle along the Merrion road towards Blackrock.

There are two reasons why I am pushing (as opposed to cycling it)

Firstly, I’m crying so much I can’t see where I am going.

And secondly, the radiologist I have just attended has warned me against cycling.

(In fact he is not one bit happy that I haven’t organised someone collect me.)

There is good reason for my tears too.

I have just had a suspicious lump in my groin biopsied.

But even without results, the outcome is already fairly certain.

A metastatic melanoma.

Having a fair idea of my diagnosis I want to grieve alone, to wail as loud as can.

To shout ‘Noooo, not me’.

I want to throw myself on the rocks beside the sea and graze my skin on the small innocent barnacles.

To draw blood.

To feel totally and utterly sorry for myself.

And I don’t want any of my family or friends witnessing my grief.

I want to be miserable in peace.

So ignoring the anxious faces looking at me from passing car windows and with much snivelling, I wipe my dripping nose and eyes alternatively on my sleeve and the hem of my dress and push along.

Now there is only so much crying you can do and eventually I have no more tears to shed.

At this stage the local anaesthetic is beginning to wear off and I am developing a dull nagging ache.

Good! I want pain.

I am also fed up walking and even though I don’t care about strangers seeing me crying, I do care about the fact that they might think my newly acquired bike is just for show.

That I’m not able to ride a bicycle at all or worse still that I don’t dare to cycle on such a busy road.

So looking furtively behind me (I am still close to the hospital) I put my left foot on the left pedal and scoot off with my right one.

But it isn’t the sharp pain that stops me threading my right foot over the bar and onto the other pedal.

There may be butterflies!

Something catches my eye.

Something fluttering in the nearby Hebe bush.

I hop off the bike mid mount and hobble over for a closer look through red and swollen eyes.

A dozen or more blue butterflies are feeding on the purple flowers of a large Hebe bush growing on the side of the road.

I stand and watch them, amazed not only at their fragile beauty but the fact that I cycle this route at least three times a week and have never noticed them before.

With a small glimmer of wonder, I hop on my bicycle and cycle down through Blackrock village towards the sea.

Dolphins in the bay.

The road through Blackrock is a busy one but I am fearless.

After all I am probably going to die shortly so why worry.

I remember a fisherman in the west once told me that even though he couldn’t swim he wouldn’t wear a life jacket.

If his boat went down he wanted to go with it!

‘If i’m going to die, what better way than off my bicycle’ I decide.

But I get through the village without mishap and after turning left follow the road as it runs parallel to the sea.

An RTE van passes, giving wide berth to the crazy woman wobbling along (it is hard to pedal evenly with a thick dressing in the way)

‘I hope he realises how lucky he is to be alive and well and going about his daily business with no concerns’ I think crossly.

I pass two girls chatting. One stops and throwing back her head gives a bellow of laughter at something the other has said.

I am incensed.

How dare they take life so frivolously.

I cycle faster, pushing against the increasing pain.

I turn left again over the railway bridge, past the martello tower and am down at the sea at last.

I see the van parked beside the green.

The RTE man is setting up a tripod and and pointing the camera on it out to sea.

I follow it’s line and that’s when I see them.

A pod of dolphins.

Many many of them.

They are swimming in wide circles, leaping out of the water every now and again, the sun flashing blindingly off their wet backs.

I lean the yellow bike on its stand and limp across the grass for a closer look and somewhere to sit (my thigh is now throbbing painfully)

The only seat is already occupied by an elderly man but there are plenty of large rocks so I aim for them.

But as I pass he turns towards me and sliding over pats the space beside him.

I sit beside him nodding my thanks and hoping he wont try to strike up a conversation.

I can feel him looking at me curiously but he says nothing.

The camera man, focusing on his leaping jumping target, has not given any indication of our presence.

The fact that we three strangers are in such close proximity without a word between us would normally make me feel uncomfortable and I would have to make some remark to break the silence.

But today I am different.

I feel a sense of calm washing over me, and all sense of social awkwardness leaving me.

The rhythmic sound of the waves drowns out the distance noise of traffic and I am only aware of the sea and the sounds of our breathing  as we focus on the those leaping splashing forms in the bay

“I’ve lived here all my life and I’ll be 90 next week”

I jump.

The elderly man is speaking as though to himself.

He doesn’t wait for my reply but continues, shaking his head as though in disbelief.  “but in all my years I have never seen dolphins this early in the bay nor so many”

He turns to me

‘Did you know that dolphins symbolise protection, hope, some would even say rebirth?’ He takes my look of amazement for a smirk.

‘Ha’ he smiles ‘Bet you didn’t think I would be into that sort of malarkey. My wife used to laugh at me. ‘Arty farty” She called it.

Before I can reply that I am not laughing at him but am very grateful for his words, the camera man turns to invite us to watch the dolphins through the lens.

If he recognises the wild women wobbling dangerously he has passed earlier he is polite enough not to mention it.

I turn to the elderly man. He was here first.

‘Ah no you go on love’ He stays sitting

So I stand beside the camera man and look through camera as he zooms the lens in on them.

They are swimming in tighter circles now moving nearer our side of the bay.

As I watch, one leaps with a mighty push, clearing the water and as though in slow motion its body twists and spirals upwards.

Then it straightens and appears to be suspended for a few seconds before slapping back into the water.

I suddenly remember the blue butterflies so when I return to the seat I ask my new friend about them.

‘Blue butterflies’ he replies without hesitating or looking surprised ‘are a sign of healing!’

He looks at me with sudden concern “Are you all right? You look a bit pale”.

I smile

‘I’m fine’ I reassure him ‘In fact I have rarely felt better’.

And to prove it I leap onto the yellow bike and waving a goodbye to him and the RTE man, cycle up the hill and home.

THE END.

 

This is a true story without embellishment but when I read back over it I can’t think why anyone would believe it.

It was almost fairy-tale-like in its happening.

But happen it did and it was the day I was going to survive.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

A penchant for pumpkins (And pots of homemade jam)

Tags

Artist, bamboo, Cistertian abbey, france, fruitflies, goldfish, Jam, Monet, Montelieu, painting, Penchants, pumpkins, theyellowbicycle

 

Penchant; A strong habitual liking for something or tendency to do something.

AN INTRODUCTION.

Most of us have a penchant for something.

Mine is for telling stories and my yellow bicycle.

Recently I came across someone with a penchant for pots of homemade jam.

This reminded me of another penchantier of not only homemade jam, but of the pumpkins his jam was made from.

And as it is the seventh anniversary of that time, I thought I might tell you the tale of Monsieur l’abbe and his penchant for pumpkins.

For those of you who may be concerned that their penchants are abnormal I hope this story reassures you….

But first we must go there (to France and the journey across it on the sturdy yellow bicycle)

After leaving the two Irish Moira’s of Montelieu and their tiny house in the middle of that village, and with their recommendation, (you MUST stay at the old abbey, they insisted, nodding their heads vigorously and smirking knowingly at each other) I cycled over the mountain and down the other side to the ancient Cistercian Abbey now a Chambre d’hote.

Arriving at an enormous pair of iron gates, I spotted a notice nailed to one of the gate posts beside which hung a worn but still thick rope.

‘TIREZ FORT ‘ I read.

So I did as instructed and pulled hard on the rope.

The sound of  a deep bell echoed through the innards of the building.

I could hear a dog barking and after a short wait, a tall man of indecipherable years wearing pale linen trousers and a white shirt, approached the gate.

He wore a wide brimmed black felt hat pulled down so low over his brow that I could only glimpse a shadow where his eyes should be.

‘Ah the woman on the yellow bicycle’, he called out as he pulled the gates open.

‘The Arteeste’ (The two Irish Moira’s had obviously filled him in, exaggerating my skills but this wasn’t the time to correct him )

‘Entrez! entrez! Holding the gate open for me, I pushed the yellow bicycle through passing quite close to him.

He smelt of something familiar. but I was too busy mumbling ‘bonsoir’ to pay much heed to it.

Any way he had already turned on his heel, and was leading the way into a large dimly lit coach house.

‘You may leave your beautiful yellow bicycle ici’.

At first I couldn’t see where he was pointing to but, as my eyes became accustomed to the gloom, I saw it was to the only space clear of huge pumpkins.

He stood patiently while I fumbled with the buckles on my panniers and basket and then taking the heavy items from me headed back out into the fading light.

I trotted obediently after him.

Down a cobbled path we went and then through another door and up a stone stairs.

He strode purposefully along a windowed corridor , where on each windowsill lay a beautifully carved pumpkin.

We passed rooms with various names on the doors. The ivy room, the oak room, the magnolia room, I tripping along trying to keep up with his long legged stride.

Finally he stopped at door which read ‘the rose room’ .

‘You will sleep here’

And opening the door he laid my belongings on the bed and bid me goodnight.

I waited till his footsteps had faded before throwing myself onto the bed.

I was exhausted but as I drifted off to sleep, I became conscious of that smell again.

What did it remind me of?

That night I dreamt I was back in Co Sligo in my old house by the waterfall, wandering up through the ferny dripping hazel woods, clambering over moss covered rocks to gather bags of loam made from centuries of broken down trees and leaves for my garden.

Dark, damp, earthy, crumbly loam, smelling of ancient woodlands….

 

(the blue shuttered window of the Rose room, forth shuttered window from the right)

The story

La Monsieur de L’abbey had a penchant for pumpkins,

A fascination for the oddness of their shapes.

A passion for the soft blues, greens, orange colors of their skins.

They were everywhere!

Painted, sculpted, engraved, carved into bowls, jugs, even lampshades.

That morning at breakfast there were at least four different varieties of pumpkin jam.

Some made with added rosewater, some with Cointreau.

The hovering black fruit flies were drunk and in ecstasy.

We had to keep brushing them off our bread.

‘ Ah but you must try this! Le Monsieur’s face loomed close to mine as he pushed a teaspoon of the sweet syrup against my mouth.

‘Ze summer of 2008, best year for pumpkins… you like it?’

‘Mmmm’ I said widening my eyes for effect.

His were dark brown and very shiny.

‘And ziz’? He persisted dipping the spoon into another pot

‘Ziz did not turn out as I wanted… too sweet! So I added some ginger what do you think? Interesting flavour n’est pas?’

‘Qui, qui’ I murmured savoring the hot sweetness ‘very interesting’

He smiled.

His teeth were very white.

‘So today’ he announced ‘you must paint!’

‘No more gallivanting about on that yellow bicycle, I have hidden it!’

‘Today you must stay in the garden and paint pumpkins, come I will show you the best place’

I followed him out into the coolness of the morning.

His sandals made a slapping sound on the ancient flags of the cloister floor.

Heading up some steps , He crossed the dewy grass towards a Grecian style tower.

A few birds were up as early as us, singing in the nearby magnolia tree but otherwise all was still

At the base of the tower and covered by its first floor but open at the front to the elements, was a small courtyard screened from the abbey by some giant bamboos.

An ornate pond glistened in the morning sun.

I could see the shapes of goldfish flitting and hiding under the lily pads.

The soothing sound of trickling water over stones had an almost soporific effect.

Three old iron bed frames were placed, one along each of the three walls.

On the rustiest of the three lay some green pumpkins of rather bizarre shapes.

The remaining beds were covered in luxurious throws of some exotic fabric and a few cushions of Japanese silk were strewn casually against the heads of the bed frames.

A small bamboo table stood in the centre.

‘You may sit here’ He patted one of the cushions. ‘This is your studio. But first you must go and fetch your materials!  vite! vite!’

And so I, normally such a strong and independent woman, found myself scurrying off to do his bidding.

I hurried back across the lawn , past the bird filled magnolia tree, past a blue telephone box filled with pumpkins, passed a zany zen sculpture made of willow winding around a heap of pumpkins, passed a blue wheel barrow overflowing with pumpkins .

Down through the cloisters I ran and in through the door and swiftly up the stairs.

The mirror on the landing showed the flushed face of a woman of middle years smiling like a teenager.

Back in the garden Le Monsieur stood waiting.

In my absence he had replaced the black felt hat of yesterday with a Monet style one, white and wide brimmed, complete with black ribbon and looked for all the world like a great impressionist master.

On the low table now sat an elegant basket its lid fastened by silver clasps.

He undid the clasps and lifted the lid with a flourish

I peeped curiously inside.

A dainty teapot and two equally delicate china teacups nestled in the padded silk interior.

He lifted one of the tea cups out and placed it carefully on the table.

Then he lifted the the teapot and with all the ceremony of a geisha poured out a cup of fragrant green tea.

Steam coiled up and diseapearred into the rafters above and the scent of jasmine wafted into the air.

A soft breeze rustled the bamboo and the sunlight flitted and played with shadows across the spear like green leaves.

A few late butterflies danced, dipping and swaying among the hibiscus flowers.

The clinking of wind-chimes hanging in the peach tree broke the silence and every now and again a leaf broke loose and sea sawed through the air landing gracefully on the pond surface with a soft sighing sound only to be caught by the breeze where it sailed like a small boat across the pond.

‘Harrumph’ Le monsieur cleared his throat wakening me out of my daze.

I looked up at him

He smiled from beneath his brim

‘And now I will leave the artist to work’

And before I could reply he lifted my hand and bowing low over it, kissed it briefly.

He walked away and turning once by the willow sculpture he raised his hand in farewell

I caught that smell again.

Earthy, deep, dark and loamy and suddenly I remembered.

The smell of perfect compost for growing pumpkins in.

I lifted my brush and began to paint.

The End